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sad-cannibal-noises:

Offensive things aren’t offensive merely because they hurt feelings - they’re offensive because they contribute to the societal harm of marginalized groups. The end goal isn’t to get everyone to love each other, it’s to destroy power imbalances.

(Source: frederdick-chilton, via sciencings)

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godtie:

i am so pro-selfie

you take those selfies.

you take those selfies and look cute as heck

you take those selfies and build your self confidence

because you are cute as heck and you deserve to be confident in yourself because youre an awesome person

if anyone says any differently they are a rotten cabbage who doesnt know anything

now go take more selfies so i can reblog them and talk about how gosh darn cute you are

(via colinmorgasms)

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Anonymous asked: Could your followers press you for your top 5 Shakespeare dick jokes?

fuckyeahgreatplays:

professorfangirl:

AH HA HA HA oh I love you.

Okay, well, the raunchiest one is Romeo and Juliet 2.4, Mercutio to the Nurse:

“for the bawdy hand of the dial / Is now upon the prick of noon.”

And the baldest one, Henry V, 2.3, Pistol to Nym:

“I do retort the solus in thy bowels, / For I can take, and Pistol’s cock is up, / And flashing fire will follow.”

Schlockiest, Twelfth Night 1.5, Feste to Maria:

“Many a good hanging prevents a bad marriage.” *rimshot*

Cleverest—and hottest—Sonnet 20, the poet to his beautiful young man:

Till Nature, as she wrought thee, fell a-doting,
And by addition me of thee defeated,
By adding one thing to my purpose nothing.
   But since she prick’d thee out for women’s pleasure,
   Mine be thy love and thy love’s use their treasure.

(For me the most important word here isn’t “prick’d”—giggle—but “nothing,” which was Elizabethan slang for vagina. Nature added one thing, a prick, which is to my purpose nothing, a vagina, so

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AHEM. Shakespeare gettin’ his frottage on?)

But okay, my #1 all-time favorite Shakespeare dick joke is Hamlet 2.2, Hamlet to Rosencrantz and Guildenstern:

GUILDENSTERN
Happy, in that we are not overhappy.
On Fortune’s cap we are not the very button.

HAMLET

Nor the soles of her shoes?

ROSENCRANTZ

Neither, my lord.

HAMLET

Then you live about her waist, or in the middle of her favors?
GUILDENSTERN
Faith, her privates we.

HAMLET

In the secret parts of Fortune? Oh, most true. She is a strumpet.
***
Because yeah, most poignant.

One of my favorites: “better a witty fool than a foolish wit.” With “wit” as slang for penis, i.e. HOPE HE’S DUMB AND HUNG.

But you can’t beat the blatant comment from Mercutio about Juliet: “Oh, that she were an open arse, and thou a poperin pear!”

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theriddlergirl:

iwouldvebeendrake01:

fireandicewillsuffice:

darcylewiscalling:

agentmiaross:

gamerdarce:

alicerhodesrox:

i-am-ilanastark:

twignite:

AHHHHHHHHHHH

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

SHUT YOUR LEGS. YOU SIT LIKE TOM HIDDLESTON

MAY 1st WE HAVE AN OFFICIAL DATE OK

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

OH MY GODDDDDDDDD

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

theriddlergirl:

iwouldvebeendrake01:

fireandicewillsuffice:

darcylewiscalling:

agentmiaross:

gamerdarce:

alicerhodesrox:

i-am-ilanastark:

twignite:

AHHHHHHHHHHH

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

SHUT YOUR LEGS. YOU SIT LIKE TOM HIDDLESTON

MAY 1st WE HAVE AN OFFICIAL DATE OK

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

OH MY GODDDDDDDDD

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

(Source: thejediwalking, via rumandstars)

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iwantcupcakes:

Vulture tells Mark Ruffalo about Science Bros.  Mark loves it, plans to call RDJ about it.

From Vulture:

Does that mean he’s never heard of “Science Bros,” an Internet subculture celebrating the friendship of Bruce Banner and Tony Stark, the characters Ruffalo and Robert Downey Jr. played in The Avengers?

“No, what is that?” he asked.

And then the giggles began.

  • “Yes! It’s me and Robert! Look at this! There’s thousands of them!” Ruffalo tried to contain himself. “It’s called the Science Bros. This is awesome. I’ve never heard of it. Why hasn’t anyone told me about that?”
  • “So, are they all quasi-homoerotic?” he asked. “Like tinged with … ” Yup. “That’s cute!” 
  • Is he now a Science Bros shipper, then? “Yeah! I love it; it’s awesome,” Ruffalo enthused. “I endorse it 100 percent. You know what it is? It’s open-source creativity.”
  • Ruffalo couldn’t wait to drop his newfound knowledge bomb on Downey Jr. “I’m going to call him and tell him, and he’s going to laugh his ass off,” Ruffalo said. “He’ll love that.”
(read more)

(via cecilandcarlosaredriftcompatible)

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shineegami:

edwardspoonhands:

keab42:

cold-neverbotheredmeanyway:

ohitsjustkim:

stammsternenstaub:

kirkwa:

And This Is Why You Shouldn’t Get Sick In America

Many believe that the US healthcare system is the best in the world. Not so according to the World Health Organization’s ranking of the world’s health systems. The US doesn’t even rank in the top 25. It ranks 37th and is the most expensive in the world. I would argue that even if we had the best healthcare system in the world, what good is it, if no one can afford to access it.

Most companies are buying 60/40-policys for their employees these days, but even if you are lucky enough to have good insurance with 80/20-policy coverage, that 20 percent your responsible for can drive you right into bankruptcy as easily as the 60-40 policy given the cost of healthcare.

Insurance cost have been going up dramatically in the last two decades, long before the new Affordable Healthcare Act has taken affect, in some cases as much as 35% per year.

But have you noticed the latest trick the insurance companies have roll out?

Yes, Higher Deductible… most averaging $5,000 per year, per person, but I have seen some as high as $10,000 per year. For those of you that are wondering, this tactic is specifically designed too stop you from using your insurance. It reduces the insurance companies out of pocket liability by shift costs onto consumers, especially those dealing with chronic illness such as diabetes and arthritis. Consequently, because consumers can’t afford the deductible they will avoid necessary care to save money.

Although insurance companies are a problem, the real crook is the healthcare system it self. A corrupt and bloated system desperately in need of reform!

OKAY SO I KNEW THAT TECHNICALLY IN AMERICA THAT YOU PAY FOR HEALTHCARE BUT LIKE THE IDEA IS SO BIZARRE TO ME THAT I’D NEVER CONSIDERED THAT YOU’D GET… A BILL?????? FOR BEING…. ILL?????????? I LITERALLY DON’T

how can anaesthetic cost that much??

how is this legal??

WHAT? And I thought having to pay £7 ($11.55) for stronger prescription allergy meds instead of £4 ($6.60) for the less effective store-brand ones was ridiculous.

You have to pay for the ambulance!?

OK, I’m shocked by the prices, but all of the people from other countries who are just shocked that there ARE prices just make me so so sad.

This is so screwed up.

we pay for the ambulance here in canada too. but the thing is each province has a different health care policy. because of how right winged alberta’s provincial government is (conservative party) , we don’t get as much coverage as BC (who are left winged with NDP). but a lot of these bills are ridiculous.

(via raleighthejaegers)

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upwiththekai:

hokuto-ju-no-ken:

miidoriilol:

grandmasterbooty:

mooxy0u:

milkanclcookies:

this makes me so happy

HAS IT REALLY BEEN THAT LONG

numa numa era classic

lmao the kid in red cant even keep up with how nerdy he was as a child. dude in black is on point tho.

well holy shit

THIS VIDEO IS BLOCKED IN MY COUNTRY AND I AM SO ANGRY.

(Source: snailfairy, via raleighthejaegers)

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somehowfurious:

kissing-monsters:

apiphile:

sexxxisbeautiful:

pizzagrrrl:

Peggielene Bartels, A.K.A. King Peggy, is currently the King of Otuam, Ghana. She was chosen to be one of only three female kings in Ghana, and when she discovered that male chauvinists wanted her to only be a figurehead, she said: “They were treating me like I am a second-class citizen because I am a woman. I said, ‘Hell no, you’re not going to do this to a woman!’” When she encountered corruption and the threat of embezzlement to the royal funds, she declared “I’m going to squeeze their balls so hard their eyes pop!”
King Peggy has maintained her work in Ghana’s embassy in Washington, D.C. while making education affordable in Otuam, installing borehead wells to produce clean drinking water, enforcing incarceration laws to deal with domestic violence, replenishing the royal coffers by taxing Otuam’s fishing industry to improve life in the village, and appointing three women to her council.
“Nobody should tell you, ‘You’re a woman, you can’t do it,’” she insists. “You can do it. Be ready to accept it when the calling comes.”
Quoted from the Spring/Summer 2012 issue of Ms. Magazine.

What a beautiful badass woman.

King Peggy has been on my blog before but this is my goddamn blog and I will have King Peggy on here twice if I want.

MORE FEMALE KINGS.

Always reblog King Peggy, who is on my dash far less than she should be. Did you know she has written a book about her life? It is great, and you should all get right on that if you haven’t already.

somehowfurious:

kissing-monsters:

apiphile:

sexxxisbeautiful:

pizzagrrrl:

Peggielene Bartels, A.K.A. King Peggy, is currently the King of Otuam, Ghana. She was chosen to be one of only three female kings in Ghana, and when she discovered that male chauvinists wanted her to only be a figurehead, she said: “They were treating me like I am a second-class citizen because I am a woman. I said, ‘Hell no, you’re not going to do this to a woman!’” When she encountered corruption and the threat of embezzlement to the royal funds, she declared “I’m going to squeeze their balls so hard their eyes pop!”

King Peggy has maintained her work in Ghana’s embassy in Washington, D.C. while making education affordable in Otuam, installing borehead wells to produce clean drinking water, enforcing incarceration laws to deal with domestic violence, replenishing the royal coffers by taxing Otuam’s fishing industry to improve life in the village, and appointing three women to her council.

“Nobody should tell you, ‘You’re a woman, you can’t do it,’” she insists. “You can do it. Be ready to accept it when the calling comes.”

Quoted from the Spring/Summer 2012 issue of Ms. Magazine.

What a beautiful badass woman.

King Peggy has been on my blog before but this is my goddamn blog and I will have King Peggy on here twice if I want.

MORE FEMALE KINGS.

Always reblog King Peggy, who is on my dash far less than she should be. Did you know she has written a book about her life? It is great, and you should all get right on that if you haven’t already.

(Source: pizza-grrrl, via cecilandcarlosaredriftcompatible)

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galaxystew:

mindmeldsex:

g-erti:

i dreamed a dream in time gone by

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when hope was high and life worth living

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i dreamed that love would never die

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i dreamed that god would be forgiving

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but the tigers come at night, with their voices soft as thunder

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as they tear your hope apart

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as they turn your dream to shaaaaaaame

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#2 real

OW IN THE FEELS

(via rumandstars)